New York Organizes a Family Musical
by 94 Bottles Of Snapple
Summary: Despite the title, mostly Iowa!OC-centric. When the family gets together for a meeting, New York gets antsy to direct; chaos ensues. And who's at the center of it all? Iowa, of course. You know, the state left of Illinois? Yeah. Various pairings.
1. Act 1 Scene 1

**A/N: I am not in owning of Hetalia or its characters. I also don't own the idea of state OCs (though I doubt anyone does…) BUT! I am the only person I know EVER to write an Iowa OC, and so I claim that! Hah, fools!**

New York Organizes a Family Musical:

_Act I: Scene I: In Which Iowa is Duped_

New York (James Jones to you civilians) was on the prowl. It wasn't very often that the states got together except at Christmas and Dad's birthday. And… He was _craving_ the director's chair. He _needed_ to direct, to create, and… He had so many people to choose from. So many options, with his family all gathered together like this… Oh, the things he could accomplish!

But New York wanted more than just a play, just any play… No, he wanted a musical. And he needed family members who could sing.

Unfortunately for him, his siblings were never forthcoming with their musical talents… Since they knew the menace he was when he was like this. But it wasn't like New York cared what they thought. He just needed to find a way to weasel the talent out of them.

Now, how on earth could he-

James' ears twitched. Was that…?

It was.

Singing.

Someone was singing…

And, being so alert and intent on the singing, New York followed it to its source. Dad's third bathroom.

What, with fifty kids, get-togethers had to be held in a huge mansion, one that America didn't normally occupy, as he was easily frightened by things that went bump in the night. Not that he would ever admit that openly.

In any case… Singing.

Someone was singing in the shower.

New York stifled a laugh. He didn't know any of his sisters (for the voice was clearly feminine) sang in the shower…

And then as he listened, he clearly identified the tune.

It was… 'Pretty Women'? Which of his sisters was weird enough to sing Sweeney Todd music in the shower? Especially a song that was sung by men in the musical?

The song stuttered to a stop for a moment. And then he heard muttering, but, unlike the obliviously loud singing, it was too low to make out. Dang it. Well, New York would wait. He would wait and see which sister of his it was.

⑩⑨⑧⑦⑥⑤④③②①

Iowa sighed. Darn it, how did that part go…

"Er, let's see…"

Lyrics and tunes swirled through her head. She restarted to just before her falter, and bit her lip as she tried to remember.

" Pretty women,

Silhouetted…

Stay within you,

Glancing…

Stay forever,

Breathing lightly…

Pretty women,

Pretty women- "

Iowa cut off when the bottle of shampoo slipped from her hands and crashed to the bottom of the shower.

"Oops…"

She picked it up and set it on the shelf where it belonged.

"Oh… I guess I'm almost finished, in any case," the blonde muttered, rinsing the soap from her hair.

Then she stepped out and toweled off, studying her fuzzy reflection in the fogged-up mirror, and dressed. As she reached for the doorknob, Iowa sighed.

It wasn't that she didn't like her siblings… In fact, she loved them all dearly, though she didn't get on well with all of them.

But… This impromptu gathering… She had a bad feeling. Especially with everything that had been going on. The oil in the Gulf, the recession… Things were going downhill, and so she highly doubted this would be a pleasant family get-together.

The thought of all of her siblings bickering… Oh, boy.

But Iowa knew she couldn't stay cooped up in Daddy's third bathroom all day, so she twisted the knob and exited.

She hardly expected an immediate collision with one of her least-favorite brothers.

⑩⑨⑧⑦⑥⑤④③②①

Iowa. It had been _Iowa_. New York's brain exploded. Ok, he really wasn't expecting his redneck- (ok, so she _technically_ wasn't, but come on, challenging all of her surrounding siblings (who were all guys, by the way!) to football? What sort of self-respecting girl was she?) sister to have such an exquisite voice. I mean, she was the one he _least_ expected to have a nice singing voice. Half the time she seemed like a man- Well… Except for… You know. But having a big chest like that just came with the territory; the good farmlands and stuff like that.

And… New York had always been curious what his sister would look like all dolled up. She refused to let anyone dress her up, ever. Even she never dressed herself up! Not the way anyone wanted her to, anyway. Even if she went to some sort of formal event, she'd be in a white dress shirt and black slacks.

So. Even if it was Iowa… He definitely had a sibling to be in the musical. And why not take a page out of her book. Sweeney Todd sounded like a good enough musical to him.

And with Iowa…

If he could strong-arm her into singing in the musical (he could), then Texas wouldn't be too far behind. Because only a complete idiot (aka most of the family) wouldn't be able to see that Johanna and Austin had a thing for each other.

⑩⑨⑧⑦⑥⑤④③②①

New York had a very intent stare on his face. Johanna did not like that stare. She backed up a little, sidling to try and avoid her east-coast brother.

"Um… New York?"

He didn't seem to hear her.

"James?"

"It really is perfect," he mumbled.

"W-what's perfect?" she stammered defensively.

"Well… Her name is Johanna… And so is yours. And she's blonde… And so are you."

He couldn't be talking about…?

Sweeney Todd. He must have heard her singing, and agh, darn it, he-

But that wasn't important. That rage could be channeled at a later date. Because.

He had that Broadway Musical look on his face, and oh, she wanted nothing to do with that; couldn't he see that the family meeting was going to be grave, and important, and…

And she needed to run. Now.

Iowa refused to be wrangled into James' half-baked 'family play' schemes. Not after the time he'd forced poor California into being the Wicked Witch of the West for a play he'd gotten together at his birthday party.

And beyond that, she'd told Iowa that New York was a real slave-driver when it came to musicals… And Johanna wanted anything but to be under James' thumb when that kind of thing was going on. No way was she going to submit to this. No way.

She'd just run, for now. She could hide behind… Um… Dad! Dad or Minnesota. Yeah.

"Well… Nice-to-see-you-James-bye!"

"I'll tell Dad about-"

He didn't even need to finish the sentence. Oh, no… He wouldn't dare tell Dad… Not about-

⑩⑨⑧⑦⑥⑤④③②①

New York had to bite his lip to keep from laughing. He knew it. Johanna was such a goody that she would never want Dad to know if she'd done anything wrong. He didn't even know what he was holding over her head (and made a mental note to find out later), which made this all the more fun. After all, he could dangle invisible secrets over her head, like this, and so she would be pretty easy to manipulate from here on out.

⑩⑨⑧⑦⑥⑤④③②①

"F-fine, what is it you want," Iowa grumbled, brushing her wavy blonde hair from her blue eyes.

"You're going to be in Sweeney Todd. As Johanna."

"B-but she's so… I mean, all the women in that play are either completely batty, really stupid, (or both) or in the chorus! And Johanna… She's just so naïve and ugh, and…"

"Well, you should have no problem playing her then," New York laughed mockingly. "Now, come on… I'm going to get Texas."

Iowa paled.

"Are you nuts? H-he'll… I want no part in this, you're gonna get us killed! You know how Austin feels about singing in front of people, especially in musicals and plays, and especially, especially when it's you when you're in one of your moods like this! There's no way-! And he's gonna hate us, and agh…"

But James just laughed, shaking his head.

"Idiot. That's why I'm bringing you."

The blank look on her face made him sigh.

"Look, whatever corn-hick. Just come on."

Iowa bristled, but with New York gripping her wrist so tightly, and with him hanging… _That_… Over her head, Johanna really had no choice.

Oh, what had she gotten herself into…?

_Lights fade to black. _

_SCENE END_

**A/N#2: Ok, so, Iowa = Johanna, New York = James, Texas = Austin. Ok? Ok.**

**PS: Hey guys, look, I started a new story… Oh my. This is becoming a bad habit, huh. Still, I couldn't get it out of my head, and that there's not a single Iowa story anywhere on the internet… SO! Yeah, the Hawkeye State will prevail! … You know… If she survives New York's musical rampage.**

**PPS: I'd apologize for if I maybe possibly offended people with this, but… Um… If you're offended, you shouldn't be watching Hetalia in the first place. Cheers?**


	2. Act 1 Scene 2

**A/N: I don't own Hetalia or its characters. I also don't own the idea of state OCs (though I doubt anyone does…) BUT! I am the only person I know EVER to write an Iowa OC, and so I claim that!**

New York Organizes a Family Musical:

_Act I: Scene II: Texas, Russia, and Who Invited the Psychos?_

Iowa was still convinced that this was a very, very bad idea. And she would never believe New York, no matter what he said. Especially not when he had that Broadway Musical look on.

But here they were. Standing outside room number 28* of the 75-bedroom mansion. Now, why weren't there only 51 rooms? Well, some of the states, and even Alfred himself, were guilty of inviting over a few guests from time to time...

In any case.

"You're the one who's going to knock," Iowa insisted.

New York just smirked, bowed, and then rapped his knuckles sharply on Texas' door. There was a shuffle and then the door twisted open. And poor, poor Johanna... Was pushed forward by her conniving brother James.

?

Texas sighed, running a hand through his brown hair. Unlike most of his siblings, he wasn't blonde. But, like many of the others, he had had a name change. When America adopted, boy howdy, he wasn't kidding about it. He'd changed most everyone's names, save that of the originals; that is, the colonies. He didn't know why the names England christened them with were so special. But maybe Pa didn't like names that weren't English? Aw, who cared.

So, yeah, to the world now, he was Austin Jones; though he never really accepted the surname change. Much as he held a grudge against Mexico, he'd gotten used to being named after Spain. That's right. He was Antonio Fernandez Carriedo II. But, honestly, he thought... Well.

Texas' eyes slid to the door. That's right, someone had knocked. He was still a little slow from the jet lag; Pa liked everyone to meet up north, in D.C. Well, not really in D.C., per say, but... Aw, whatever. He was going on and on in his mind; rambling, like Iowa was want to do.

With a strong hand, he twisted the door open, and was surprised to come face-to-face with his previous object of thought.

"Johanna..." he muttered.

And then he noticed who was trying and failing miserably to 'hide' behind her. Texas cleared his throat.

"... New York."

The two states at his door exchanged glances. Well, in Iowa's case it was more of a glare. Shoot, what'd New York get poor Johanna into this time?

Seeing how New York was still trying to hide, Iowa sighed and stepped up to the plate.

"Er... James-"

Texas blanked out for a second. Since when did she call New York James...?

"-Know if you would want to be in a musical..."

Shoot, he'd missed part of the sentence. But, he'd gotten the gist of it. So, New York was on another one of his famous rampages, huh? What Texas didn't understand was why Johanna was going along with it.

The thought that she might actually want to be part of one of New York's escapades, coupled with the fact that she'd called him 'James' pulled Austin into a raging inner conflict. Well, if Johanna was taking part... He should support her, right? He knew how bad her stage fright was.

On the other hand, if she'd started something up with New York, he wanted no part in watching it. It wasn't that the idea of a relationship itself disgusted him; very few of the states were actually related. In fact, if you left out their guardians, none of them were. It wasn't as if countries had babies or anything. The Europeans had just been lucky enough to spot the states out wandering around, and decided on 'custody'.

But Texas really, really didn't want to watch New York and Iowa couple up. At all. Ever.

And then New York whispered something in Johanna's ear and she reddened up like a ripe tomato.

"Are you nuts?" she hissed back. "Look, if Austin doesn't want to be in the musical, he doesn't want to, and I don't see any reason why I should-"

But then an expression of realization crossed her face and she scowled.

Texas wasn't quite sure what to make of the situation. But he could at least discern that Iowa actually didn't want to be part of whatever musical New York was intent on. And that brightened him up just the slightest bit. Along with the fact that she'd called him 'Austin'.

"... Please?" Iowa asked finally, biting her lip unsurely.

And he really didn't have any choice.

"Alright."

?

New York cheered. Well, in his head, at least. He definitely didn't want to set Texas off; the guy was nuts. Like most of New York's other family...

In any case... So, he had his Johanna, and an Anthony... But who for the lead? Who in his family could even remotely come close to the insanity of Sweeney Todd? Well, there was always Alaska, Russia's hell-spawn (ok, yes, he knew that countries didn't actually 'spawn', per se, but come on!), but she looked like she was ten.

… New York had hit a roadblock.

Until...

Russia's hell-spawn.

RUSSIA.

And no one anywhere knew a guy more fucked up than Russia.

Plus, to get Dad to go along with it... He could have Russia's crazy psycho sister- (what was her name again? Belaran? Something like that...) - be Mrs. Lovett.

He was such a genius.

"I'll see you two later," he grinned, turning and racing for door number 0 (come on, Dad had a hero complex, why wouldn't he want room 0? 0 is the hero, right?).

Then, he pounded feverishly on the door. Oh, yes, he could feel this musical coming together, yes yes yes!

?

Alfred would admit it. He spoiled his states quite a bit. But they were his kids, so honestly, why not? And when New York had that pleading look in his big green eyes... Well, America just could not say no.

Especially when it gave him a chance to torture Russia with Belarus. And New York's psychotic directing. So he said yes, and New York was pulling out his cell phone before anyone could say another word.

?

Florida (Maria Jones, if you're wondering), blinked a few times, silent.

Finally...

"Daaaaaaaaad! Who invited all the psychos?"

The dark-haired girl waited until America and a few siblings had rushed to the door. She was sure there was no way just one person had invited all of these weirdos. There was Russia, France, England, Spain (Papa!), and Russia's scary sister, and Russia's not scary sister who looked like Iowa.

?

Ok... New York hadn't expected such a vigorous response to his call. Then again... He'd called Russia, who would take any chance he could to come creep on them. And then he'd called Belarus, who would be singing it from the rooftops; so Ukraine would hear, and then that freakish pervert France would show up to see his 'precious children'. England would tag along to try and 'protect' everyone. And Spain would come to see his kids. So... Well, whatever.

Since they'd shown up, he had more choices when casting, then.

And not even these so-called powerful nations could worm their way out of the cast.

But before New York could begin his sinister casting plan, there was a nasally French shriek. Joy.

"Ah, Jean, ma cheri~!" France practically squealed, leaping forward to wrap his arms around Iowa.

The strong blonde struggled out of his grip.

"Let go, bastard! Vous me rendez malade*!"

New York couldn't stop himself from feeling a little pity for Iowa; most of the states had 'Daddy problems'. After all, with the Revolutionary War, and the Louisiana Purchase, and Texas separating himself from Mexico... Well. Europe was not a favorite in family conversation, that's for sure.

In any case, New York had to close in now before everyone escaped.

"So glad you all decided to come," he said, smiling. "I think I have the perfect parts for each of you..."

Most of the nations looked blank. Parts?

?

Iowa balked.

"You dragged an entire UN meeting's worth of nations into your musical...?" she murmured, feeling dizzy.

"I like my plays to have real chemistry to them," New York scoffed. "And what better way than to mirror reality?"

And then Johanna watched as New York rushed out of the entryway. The nations were all led inside, and soon New York was back with a cast list. Iowa wanted so badly to smack her head against a wall repeatedly. But that would be painful, and embarrassing in front of so many prominent countries. By this time, more of the states had gathered in the mansion's foyer, and everyone looked at New York's list.

**Sweeney Todd – Russia**

**Mrs. Lovett – Belarus**

**Anthony – Texas**

**Johanna – Iowa**

**Judge Turpin – France**

**Beadle Bamford – Spain**

**Toby – Alaska**

**Beggar Woman/Lucy – Ukraine**

**Pirelli – Dad**

**Everyone Else Who Can Sing – Chorus**

**Everyone Else Who Can't Sing – Backstage Workers **

And it was in that moment that Iowa could say with absolute certainty that this musical was going to be a _very painful fiasco_.

_Lights fade to black. _

_SCENE END_

*** Texas was the 28****th**** state (a little fun trivia, Iowa was the 29****th ****so they have rooms right next to each other!). And beyond that, Texas was made a state on December 29, 1845; Iowa was made a state on December 28****th**** of the next year.**

**** Hopefully, the approximation of 'You make me sick!'**

**A/N#2: Iowa = Johanna, New York = James, Texas = Austin, Florida = Maria.**


	3. Act 1 Scene 3

**A/N: I don't own Hetalia or its characters. I also don't own the idea of state OCs (though I doubt anyone does…) BUT! I am the only person I know EVER to write an Iowa OC, and so I claim that! Sorry for taking soooooooo long to update this… (And Virginia makes an appearance, just for Tea-PartyCrasher!)**

New York Organizes a Family Musical:

_Act I: Scene III: California's Wise Words of Wisdom, and Chaos in the Parlor_

Most of the countries looked baffled, and Johanna definitely understood that. She was still rather dazed herself. Who knew she'd finally have to be stuck in a prominent role (aka something that wasn't 'tree' or 'townsperson'), and especially because of... Well, _that_, of all things...

How embarrassing... She needed to find out exactly how New York had learned of that. After all, if Johanna had learned anything about living in a fifty-person family, it was that you should never have a diary.

That was pretty beside the point at the moment, though.

Out of the corner of her eye, Iowa noticed California having a chat with New York. He didn't look too perturbed, but just the slightest bit put off. Angela walked away with a satisfied look on her face though.

Iowa figured she might as well find out what that was about. So she caught California by the arm as she walked past.

"Hey, Angela…?"

The long-haired blonde turned to look at her sister.

"Yeah?"

"Well, I was wondering... What was it you were talking to James about...? Did you want a part?"

This was, of course, said hopefully. Anything to get away from New York's musical tyranny...

But California just laughed and shook her head.

"Oh, trust me, I'll do regular plays and musicals for James, but when he's directing them himself, count me out... It's complete murder for my complexion. I'm just lucky to get away with an offstage part this time," California sighed, blowing a stray strand of hair out of her green eyes. "I'll be doing the lighting and special effects; Eli will help me with the other backstage things. Backdrops and such."

Well, it would make sense that California and Nevada would work together... But it was too bad that Johanna was stuck with her part. Although... She wouldn't want to abandon poor Austin all alone on stage like that! The poor guy...

Well, there really wasn't much to be done about it except buckle down and get to work… Iowa wasn't the type to whine and complain the whole way while she was dragged along by the ankles. Working hard was in her nature, so she was gonna suck it up and get a move on. The sooner she memorized her lines, the easier things would be later.

"Since you got stuck with a lead role, let me just tell you," California said suddenly. "No matter what New York says, no matter how stupid the request… Well, at least when he's telling you how to act or say something on stage, you'd better listen. He takes this sort of thing really seriously."

Biting her lip, Iowa nodded. She didn't want to be on the receiving end of New York's crazy any day… Normally it wasn't a problem, since she took after her Uncle Mattie in the skill (or curse) of invisibility. So it was good to get some advice from somebody that knew what they were doing.

In any case… Well, she'd better get started. Iowa picked up a copy of the script off of the huge stack that New York had magically produced out of nowhere.

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New York surveyed the parlor with grim determination. Sweeney Todd required a big cast… He'd have to keep all of these people under control. However, his determination was nothing to sneeze at, either.

On the other side of the room, he could see Illinois was spazzing out, and thank heavens he didn't have a gun (not that it would kill them, but Dad really liked the upholstery in that parlor). Now, normally, Illinois was a pretty laid back guy, but when you messed with him, you messed with Chicago, and, hell, no one wanted that. But New York could understand such things; he'd had his fair share of organized crime, and dirty dealings, and felonies. The Big Apple wasn't without its worms, too, he supposed.

Indiana was trying to be more inconspicuous than he usually was, but New York was making sure to keep an eye on all of his siblings, even the ones that were usually pretty invisible—after all, Iowa had been such a diamond in the rough…

"Dad… I… I'm not feeling well maybe I should go back to my room and lay dow-" Indiana stammered suddenly.

"… Henry…"*

Indiana sighed, and New York smirked, satisfied. Now that he'd wrangled Dad into helping, there was no way any of those mega-shy Midwest states would get out of their share of the work. Under New York's tyrannical Broadway reign, everyone suffered equally.

That, of course, meant countries as well.

"What a load of nonsense…" England was muttering to himself.

And it made New York… Smile. Yes, smile. With. A little tic at the corner of his mouth. Well, if dear old Father Britain was going to complain anyway, then New York would give him something to complain about. And heaven help him if the old codger tried to argue about it…

"Oh, good," New York said sarcastically. "England. You're sewing the costumes."

The blond nation twitched.

"… What…?"

New York had heard that before. The way Arthur would do that mother thing and act as if he hadn't heard, all the while keeping a dangerous tone in his voice. New York wasn't fazed at all.

"I said you're sewing, _gramps_, get to it," James sneered.

England flushed red, almost purple, even, and France snickered in the background. Still, even countries buckled under New York's glare. This was his musical, dammit, and he. Would. Get. His. Way. So, off went England to start sewing costumes. New York smirked.

Under James' menacing and vigilant watch, every member of the cast grabbed a script, even Texas, who dragged his thumb in front of his throat in a 'you're dead' motion as he held out the other for the script. New York just chuckled. He had Iowa by a chokehold with her mysterious secret, so Texas would come willingly, whether he wanted to or not. Stupid hicks.

He actually didn't even think the two of them realized that the other one liked them. New York wasn't about to tell them, even if their cluelessness made him want to facepalm. He liked seeing them dance around each other awkwardly waaaaaaaay too much for that.

⑩⑨⑧⑦⑥⑤④③②①

The next day, the costumes for the chorus people were finished, thanks to England's weird but useful magic. Well, most people believed he just finished them impossibly fast because he was a girly man who loved sewing (that was France, actually, who said that…), but Texas was actually surprisingly perceptive about the supernatural world.

Anyway, of course New York expected them all to have memorized the script, because he was going to start rehearsing and he wouldn't take any mistakes. Texas sighed. How had he gotten sucked into this mess…?

"Ok, here's your outfit, and yours and yours," James spouted gleefully, practically shoving drab, neutral-colored outfits at every single one of his siblings he could find.

Texas wished he had the gall to hide, but to be honest he was kinda scared of what New York would do. Not that he couldn't take 'im in a fight or anything… It's just, New York had a nasty talent for finding good blackmail, and Texas hardly wanted that… Plus, he couldn't just leave Iowa all alone, since he knew she wouldn't try to run away.

Well…

Texas sighed, running a hand through his dark hair and grabbing his script. He'd just buckle down and do it.

⑩⑨⑧⑦⑥⑤④③②①

Meanwhile, Virginia was on the verge of tears.

"Oh, Lord... Dad please, can't we make him stop...?"

Virginia eyed the dreary brown dress and white apron that had been shoved into her hands.

"This dress really isn't bringing back pleasant memories..." she groaned, holding the fabric as far away from herself as possible.

That comment would have caused England to cringe and his face to purple, but he wasn't around to hear it, luckily enough. America just patted his daughter atop the head and shrugged his shoulders. Virginia scowled. If Dad was going to play favorites, he should at least play favorites with her at the top… She and America had had waaaaay more bonding time**, in any case…

But Dad was a sucker for New York's musicals, and always let him have his way when Broadway was involved. And so, Virginia sighed and went to change into the dress.

_Lights fade to black. _

_SCENE END_

*** Yeah, that's right; Henry Jones. Indiana. And if you don't get the joke, you are missing out on one of the best American film series in history. Shame on you. Shaaaaaaaaaaaame...**

**** Ok, well… Lots of American history happened in Virginia, right? So… Bonding time! … I guess.**

**A/N#2: Iowa = Johanna, New York = James, Texas = Austin, Florida = Maria, California = Angela, Indiana = Henry.**


End file.
